How to not crash and burn.

So here I sit wondering why I run races. I love the training part but so far I have not been able to complete a race with out walking; now I know this is not the end of the world and a lot of people do that every time there is a race, but it is frustrating to me. I had a race on Saturday and it was 4.2 mile. I have run that distance many times and ran the whole way, no walking, no gasping for air, no feeling of giving up. Ok, so there was that one time that we were running 4 and I felt like giving up. But Saturday was bruuuutal! With a capital B, I did cover the distance in a good time for me 1:01:36, but every step of the way was no fun, much, much less then fun. This is how all my races have been, for some crazy reason I push myself so hard that I don’t have a good go of it. And there is always walking. I need to learn how to keep from starting out to fast, I crash and burn in the first ½ mile. So I look like the fat girl who just started running and thought it would be a good idea to go run a race. Not sure that any one even notices me but that is how I feel they feel about me. I do know that I will never be fast and gazelle like, more like slow and steady like the tortoise. But I would really like to be able to cover the distance start to finish with out walking. I think I am going to enter some small 5K ( I run one most mornings that I run) and see if I can get over this “balls to the wall” way of racing that leads to me being disappointed in myself for not being able to run the whole way. Either that or I have to give up entering races, but I would never do that what would I do with out all the t-shirts, and I would have no reason to train.